Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

It's been a while since I've posted about my work with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (nilmdts). I wrote about my very first session last July. I've taken photos for seven more families since then. Every session is different. Every family is different; they're all different ages, races, and places in life; they all deal with their fresh new pain and grief in different ways. Every baby is a sweet unique person.

Some things are the same though. Every single family wants to see their baby's photos. Even for a few of the moms and dads who weren't sure about having me take the photos at the time, they have been ready to receive the photos several weeks later.

My response to the sessions has been similar every time. I'm always super nervous on my way to the hospital, sometimes sickeningly so. But every time God gives me just the right balance of strength and compassion and control. I haven't had to worry about being overly focused or business like to come across as uncaring or detached, but I have been focused enough to do my job well and professionally to reassure and comfort the parents and hospital staff, and not turn into a blubbering mess of how I'm feeling somewhere on the inside. 

I always hate leaving the families, but I always feel good about the work I've done. I'm thankful that I can give them beautiful photos of their baby. They can move forward in their healing, and not worry about one day forgetting what their first child or fourth child or whatever looked like.

One mom wrote me several months after her baby was born; he was a teeny tiny baby boy, and even 3 months later, she still wasn't even close to her original due date. That blows my mind a little bit. It was a short and sweet little note, but this lady has an amazing gift for words, because she said a whole lot. Yall, she wrote me a poem. A POEM. I never expect to hear back from the parents, so this woman's words pretty much cover all the thank yous from any of my nilmdts families ever.

I'm going to share it with you here for my fellow nilmdts photographers. I want you to be encouraged too.

Amanda Dengler
an individual
who gives of herself
who touches many with her gift from God
A selfless act of giving back
life through images
She's captured a love, a lost
an angel sent from above

May God bless you and your family
We have met you only once and you have touched our lives forever

Thank You is a word too small for the memories you have given John and me of our baby boy